People often say to me that they find once their phobia is ‘ fixed’ they become aware that other things in their lives become easier. Perhaps this is because they feel empowered – they have overcome something that they thought they would never resolve – and that in turn enables them to approach other aspects in their lives more positively. It may also be that the techniques they learned during the treatment programme to ‘ fix’ one thing they are now using to ‘fix’ other things. I know that when I overcame my phobia of needles / blood suddenly my fear of spiders disappeared completely and also my dislike of till receipt papers. 

 

I have added my blog below about overcoming my fear of needles / blood as interest. If you would like to have a chat please feel free to call me anytime – there is no obligation to book an appointment. 

 

Remember : You put your fear there in the first place and it is you who will take it away….. 

 

I have the following plaque in my office ‘ THE CAVE YOU FEAR TO ENTER HOLDS THE TREASURES THAT YOU SEEK………’ 

It all made for some dire memories and emotions all of which were no use the next time I needed an injection or some blood taken. 

 

I’m sure – now I’m writing this I remember – that the fact that my dad ( a now retired GP ) used to bring injections home to give to my mum when she needed them and put them in the fridge did not help as a child. My mum was – and still is ( despite being a midwife ) – terrible at receiving injections. And I have memories of my dad chasing my mum round the house trying to give her the injection because she was such a nightmare and would not go to the surgery. I think in the end he gave up and told her she had to see another Doctor or nurse. Anyway, I have memoires of him chasing her round the house with an injection in his hand and her making such a fuss. Who knows if the memory is accurate – I suspect not given how our mind plays tricks with us. However a memory it is and that combined with my experiences at school started to build me up quite an effective phobia. 

 

As an adult of course I had to have adult responses to having injections and blood taken. I had to tell myself that the injection would keep me safe, allow me to go on a nice holiday to somewhere exotic and so on however all my talking to myself probably just made the problem worse. I would book an injection and then think about it for a week until the day of the appointment and then continue talking to myself about how I knew I would respond – thus reinforcing learned behaviour. So by the time of the injection I was often worse – certainly no better. 

 

I used to sit down with the nurse and tell her ‘ I need to tell you that I have been know to faint during an injection ( I add here that I have never fainted – ever ). I’m really bad. You need to not tell me anything about what you are going to do and especially do not tell me what you are going to use. You can either ask me questions about my holiday or I will just talk randomly – maybe complete rubbish – until I think you have finished and then I’ll count to 20 just to make sure……..’ 

 

To which most nurses then got worried in case I fainted and asked if I wanted to lie or sit down – which made the situation worse as clearly – to me – this was talking about the injection which started the whole phobic response off. Or rather, turned it up a notch or two. 

 

My responses / reactions : 

 

I would breath in an out very deeply which made me feel light headed – which turned the phobic response up another notch or two 

 

Go hot and cold – up another notch. 

 

Drop my head down as I was usually by this time feeling very light headed ( up another notch ) and then start talking rubbish in a very stilted and deliberate way. 

 

My mouth would be dry ( up another notch ) 

 

The blood would be pounding in ears and my heart pounding in my chest ( up two more notches ). 

 

My feet would feel really heavy by now and like they had got stuck to the floor and my hands would be clammy ( up another notch ) and if the nurse then uttered any words like – ‘ I don’t think this is a very good vein, let’s have a look at your other arm ’ then my response would escalate to fleeing point – except I could not move as my feet were ‘stuck’ to the floor, she had a needle in my arm and I felt dizzy. 

 

All in all it was never a good experience. 

 

It is interesting that I never had any fear of the dentist or him giving me an injection. I’ll have to give that some thought in due course. 

 

So I decided to do some self hypnosis to gain control over my phobic response since I now knew that my symptoms were linked to my flight or fight response ( please read my case study of Tom in Symptoms on my home page for more details ). My body was put on alert by the impending injection and given that it had no idea what it had to be afraid of or how to prepare for it, it did what our bodies always do when they are frightened – prepare to fight or flight ( run ). It releases adrenaline into our systems which makes the heart beat faster and sends blood to our larger muscles so that we can run ( or fight ). My dizziness was caused partly by the blood rushing to my legs to enable me to run if I needed to as quickly as possible and also by the tiny muscles behind my eyes contracting and relaxing in response to the adrenaline release. My heart was pounding because of the adrenaline and the noise I could hear in my ears was also the blood rushing up into my head past my ear. My mouth went dry because you don’t need to eat when you are ‘running or fighting’ so digestive processes are shut down and my hands went clammy in an attempt by my body to pre-cool before the ‘ fight or flight.’ 

 

What I also found out was that the body releases noradrenaline which stimulates the liver to release fats and sugars into the system in preparation for the flight or fight. However if those sugars and fats are not used up they are absorbed back into the body. Which may not be particularly helpful since the body does not know that they have not been used and instead makes you crave sugary and fatty foods to replace what it thinks has been lost. So if you happen to be trying to lose weight at the time of the stress response and if you do not ‘flight or fight’ you not only crave fatty foods after the incident ( and invariably eat them ) but you also reabsorb what your body thinks it has lost. 

 

I also found out that the body releases Cortizol as part of the stress response which thickens the blood just in case you get injured in the ‘flight or fight.’ Which can be helpful if indeed you are injured however it can cause blood clots which can in turn cause a stroke. 

 

So – I realised that actually the phobic reaction I was having / the stress response was not at all healthy for my body ( or for my mind ). 

 

I knew that I had to have a blood test – about 6 months ago – and decided that that was a good time to work towards dealing with my phobia. I booked the appointment giving myself a week to work with myself. I practised relaxation techniques and self-hypnosis in which I took myself in my imagination to a safe place. I imagined myself sitting there very calmly and looking at everything around me. I filled in the gaps in my mind until I felt like I was really there – the smells, the colours, the sounds, the textures. I believed I was there. I then started to play with being there in my mind – 

 

‘ I looked round corners and created new places, I built sculptures in the garden, I chose pieces of glass and wood that I found whilst walking along a beach and took them back to my safe place and made them into beautiful things ’ – all in my mind. 

 

I practised and practised visiting the safe place I had created in my mind until I could go there just by closing my eyes – and instantly I was there. I could even ‘be there’ with my eyes open. I then imagined that there was a beautiful stone fountain in the garden that pulled water up through it and flowed out into a stream that watered the flowers and shrubs and trees of the garden. And that I was in control of the water flow. I decided that I would think of this image when the nurse was taking my blood and that the water flow related in a very positive and non-threatening way to my blood. I would breathe normally and allow the blood to flow focussing on my outbreath as the ‘flowing’ breath. I had read that people who use hypnosis instead of anaesthetic often have very little bruising afterwards ( and none of the side effects that the anaesthetic may have caused ). 

 

I prepared myself fully for the appointment with the nurse and was completely relaxed in the waiting room. If I felt any stress starting I simply closed my eyes and went to my safe place instantly – just knowing I could access it at any time was so powerful. When I sat down with the nurse I was absolutely fine. I did not tell her I may faint or that she must not mention what she is about to do. I had a completely normal conversation and made myself watch everything that the nurse was doing. I know that historically any sight of needles, trays, bottles, syringes, generally any medical detritus and even the smell of the surgery would start my heart pounding and the stress response would start ‘ notching up.’ I add here that my intention professionally is to work in operating theatres providing hypnotherapy as an alternative to pain relief and anaesthetic – dental and medical procedures, childbirth, brain surgery, relief from the symptoms of cancer and so on and I am on a course at present that will eventually enable me to do this – so it is important that I overcome my phobia. Getting back to my appointment with the nurse – 

 

I vividly recall enjoying the opportunity to test my desensitisation and psychologically as each second passed – and they seemed to pass in slow motion – I grew more and more confident. At first I was aware that the odd little fear would be creeping up on me however as soon as I noticed it ‘creeping up on me ‘ I immediately took myself to my safe place in my mind. I did not have to close my eyes as I had managed to be able to take myself there even if my eyes were open. I could see it and feel it and most of all believe that it was a safe place as if it was around me and within me and protecting me. And whilst initially there were a few instances when I knew I had to find my safe place the instant I found it I regained control, and by re-visiting it as necessary the practise gave me confidence that it was working and total belief in myself that I had indeed learned how to control my fear. I became so interested in the process that I made myself look at things that I knew I would have struggled with in the past – I found myself testing and challenging myself ‘for fun’ which was not something I had anticipated at all. For quite a lot of the time I felt that I was outside myself watching myself – I was dissociated from the ‘exercise / task ’ which was powerful. 

 

I heard myself congratulating myself. 

 

I then concentrated on the lovely old stone fountain in the middle of my garden ( in my mind ) and relaxed very deeply indeed associating the clear running water with my blood and when I saw that the nurse had inserted the needle into my vein – even being able to write that last sentence without feeling sick is incredible – I timed my breathing so that when she drew the blood I breathed out ‘ to assist the blood flow.’ 

 

The entire experience was powerful, encouraging and a bit bizarre at the same time firstly in that I felt dissociated from myself – like I was watching/ directing a movie – and secondly that things happened that I would not have anticipated like the fact that I became intent on testing and challenging my desensitisation. 

 

When the nurse finished there was barely a mark on my skin and no bruising at all. In the past they had often had trouble drawing blood from me and I was always left with a terrible bruise. Literature that I have read says that hypnotherapy when used as an alternative to anaesthetic often leaves less or no bruising, the body bleeds less during surgery and the patient does not have the side affects afterwards of any anaesthetic. 

 

I was confident after the appointment that I would no longer have any problem with taking blood or watching the procedure being done. I have since re-lived the appointment in my mind to many times practise my response and also if there is something on the television that involves needles / surgery and so on I watch it and monitor my responses. It is important to practise and test new responses so that they become learned and eventually embedded into your subconscious so that you acquire an unconscious competence. The process of addressing my fear took me from – 

 

Conscious Incompetence – I knew I was not good at dealing with my fear 

 

to Conscious Competence – I knew what I had to do and how to do it 

 

and I was working towards Unconscious Competence – responding in a new more healthy way to my historic fear without the process being a Conscious one / responding without thinking. ( Neuro Linguistic Programming – NLP ) 

However I did want to give blood and was truly ready to do it so when David offered his help I felt confident and happy and ready to go ahead. 

 

I relax into hypnosis very easily by choice and do not need lengthy inductions – 

 

‘ Fiona, close your eyes when you are ready ’does the trick. David then talked me through a journey through my emotions relating to my Fear. He talked to me and I answered his questions and when I could not find an answer he asked another question until we both moved to a helpful answer ( NLP ). We traced my fear slowly and carefully right back to school in the biology lab when everyone was being encouraged to prick their finger to test their blood group. I remember not being able to do it at all and getting a friend to give me her pin prick of blood. The images in my mind that were being re-visited were strong and as if I was right back there in class and the emotion of the situation very real indeed. Once David had really drilled down to the strongest of my emotions and the situations related to them so that we both had an understanding of them ( therapy is all about working together ) he moved the emotion into a place where I was confident controlling it – my stomach. 

 

What had been quite a testing, honest and tough few minutes of sensory exploration suddenly disappeared. As soon as it ‘ hit my stomach – an area I feel very confident controlling – it completely disappeared. All the emotion that had built up whilst we had been talking disappeared – like a boil that had been lanced. It was incredible. 

 

We then did some more work to reinforce the control and I ended up with a very vivid personal picture that I created in my mind of a tube connecting my right hand thumb ( the initial pin prick ) to my stomach and then out to the hollow in my elbow where they take the blood and into two cartoon people who were holding hands and back into the right hand thumb again. 

 

A complete loop – as if my blood and that of other people were connected / dependent. It was so strong and so powerful and I can visualise ( and feel it ) it instantly now. 

 

I came home and booked myself into the next session of the local blood donor group which was on August 25th and was very pleased indeed. Again I was keen to test my newly acquired desensitisation. 

Writing this today I feel excitement – a far cry from Fear. I am smiling as opposed to feeling sick, heart pounding, feeling dizzy, feeling clammy, hot and cold flushes and the desire to run. And my daily thoughts related to it are positive and enjoyable with a true feeling of looking forward to something – again, a far cry from dreading an appointment. 

 

And on top of all that I saw a monster spider in my house the other day. Usually I am not good with them at all. I do not kill them – I have a very effective spider catcher that I use to collect them and pop them outside. However they are not my best even. This time – I was immediately aware that I was not half so fearful. I can only suppose that my control over my blood / needles Fear has also given me more control over anything else that may make me Fearful. Again – very interesting indeed and not something I would have anticipated. 

 

I’ll let you know the date I have booked for my blood donation– more in due course. 

 

Funny that whilst he was poking round the outside of his finger that was fine, but the finger pad was not good at all. I knew that perhaps I still had a weak point there however had decided to dissociate myself when they did the pin prick at the blood centre much in the same way that I can now do with injections etc. 

 

Also interesting was that the feeling went straight to my stomach – which is where I moved it to when I was having my fast phobia cure on my course. I feel very much in control of my stomach. As soon as the phobic response went there I felt in control of it to the point that I am still happy to give blood so it was a good test. I now know I’m going to have to work on the dissociation between now and the end of September to make sure I don’t ‘ run out of the centre ’ as John put it. So – the point being – it is important to test new perspectives and practise them. I re-charge my anchors daily and use therapeutic tools as and when necessary so I am constantly improving the power and strength of them. This one is a new one that I’m going to have to deepen and work on. He says we will do some more work next week – he’s got a long way to go before I prick my own finger. He says it’s the fear that stops me doing it – you don’t say ?!! however, lots of people can and do do it. I’ll let you know how I go on next week with John. 

 

That I no longer reacted in this way and that the pain was only a response which would be magnified if I continued to allow it to grow. I ‘ thanked ‘ my body for the warning ( since it is important that my body tells me if there is something wrong ) and the told ‘it’ I was ‘taking over from here.’ And the pain subsided and did the sickness and toe curling response. I looked at the staple and the blood that was coming out of my finger and removed the staple. I cleaned the scratch and thanked my body for sending whatever it needed to do to make sure that any infection was fought accordingly which reminded me of a great little drawing that is in one of the books that I am reading. It was drawn by a cancer suffer who wanted to support their visualisations of the chemotherapy and their own immune system fighting the cancer cells by drawing a picture of what she thought they looked like. She drew big healthy immune system cells and the chemotherapy like big ‘pac men’ with big shark style teeth snapping up the cancer cells. With a smile on their face as they did it. Its such a raw and powerful drawing. 

 

Anyway, I then proceeded to rub and poke the staple over the pad of my finger which I realised I have never done. Much like I have never pricked my finger. So I have developed an entire quite unpleasant reaction to something I have never done – something I have feared. When I actually rubbed and scrached the staple over my finger it was not half so bad as I thought. I became engrossed in the sensation and the bizarre sense that I have been afraid of something quite simple and safe that I have never done. Even thinking about it now is worse than actually doing it. It’s like I default back to my learned response as soon as I think about pricking my finger, despite the fact that I now know it is not half so bad when I actually scratch my finger. I have not pricked it yet – mmmm, I’m not ready for that yet. Fascinating. 

So I went into the hall and made myself look at all the various medical detritus and found myself filled with admiration that I could look at it and be fascinated by what it all did and could do. I was completely fine until they gave me a brochure to read full of what if’s and side effects and asked that I drink at least a pint of water. As I started to read their booklet I felt my phobia response creeping back – feeling sick, clammy, uncomfortable, like my skin was cooling and no longer my own and a general desire to run out of the hall asap. I talked myself round and used all my therapeutic tools – the continuous cycle of a blood filled tube connecting my right hand thumb prick to my stomach to a line of two red cartoon people holding hands and then back again to my right thumb was again very powerful. I control emotions in my stomach and once I ‘move them’ there I know I can control them. So the cycle of blood out from me to help other people and back to me again is very strong indeed. Especially as I had a blood transfusion after the birth of my boy. The connection is poinient. Also leaning into the ‘ fear and strong emotion’ as opposed to running away and hiding from it ( dissociating to a beach and so on ) is equally strong and vital to my control over the emotion. I managed to gain control of my emotions after a few minutes and was aware of a release of ‘ well done you / endorphins ’ when I found myself smiling ( did you know that simply smiling releases endorphins ). The process had been exceptionally conscious and deliberate and I had walked my way through every stage. I guess it will become less conscious as I practise – like any new learned thing. Everything was going very well indeed until they called me over to the nurse who went through my questionnaire with me and then informed me that as I had had a blood transfusion I could never give blood – well not for 5-10 years anyway. I was so so disappointed. I had to stop myself bursting into tears. 

 

What has been so interesting has been change from complete fear to ‘bring it on ’ and the effect that it has had on other things in my life. I am not a great fan of spiders and certainly do not kill them however a somewhat large one decided to grace me with its presence a few weeks ago and I immediately noticed that my response was far less than previous. I was almost oblivious to it and this has been the same for other things. So working with one phobia has affected others. And even though I was so upset about not being able to give blood and ‘test’ my new state the process of coping with the disappointment in itself was valuable. How many times do we plan to do something and then it does not happen…? that’s life. Being relaxed about the ‘ not happening ’ and focusing as much on the process as the end result ( or not as the case may be ) has a life lesson. Very interesting indeed. Not sure what my next challenge will be – I’m thinking.