Thank you for taking the time to have a look at my website. I live in Buckingham and my practice is situated in The Hall Farm which is believed to be a 17th century farm cottage that was extended in the Victorian period. It is now a working farm in the centre of stunning North Buckinghamshire countryside which is why I chose it as a location to work from. My office looks out over a beautiful walled garden with traditional flowers and shrubs and a Summer House to the right hand side with rolling fields beyond as far as you can see. It is very quiet and peaceful. Hall Farm is steeped in history and has many original features including fireplaces and beams and doors and wonderful high ceilings which all create a lovely atmosphere. There are lots of public footpaths which can be explored directly from the farm should you so wish and always a cup of tea and piece of cake available.
I chose this venue to work from because I believe that all good and effective therapy starts with honesty and ‘yourself.’ It is important to have a congruent base. I feel most at home and function at my best in the countryside.
I was born in Wales although as a family we moved to Manchester when I was quite young. However family holidays and visits to relatives always took us to Wales and involved walking up mountains, exploring forests and playing in rivers and streams. So I am a country girl at heart. My schooling in my early years was based in Cheshire and I knew from an early age that I had a fascination with language and literature and art. I went to Chester College to study for my BEd Degree in September 1986 and studied Psychology / Art and Education which I enjoyed very much. I realised that I very much liked working with challenging students in challenging areas and my tutor course notes frequently mentioned the level of empathy that I had with the students. I taught by choice in Toxteth in Liverpool just after the riots at a time when they provided us with transport so that we did not have to use ( risk ) our own cars being left in the school yard. The experience was challenging and the school had a wealth of dedicated and committed teachers from which I learned a lot not just about the subjects I was teaching but also the different ways that children learned / stored information and how to modify the subject matter I was teaching so that they had the best opportunity to absorb it and make it their own. My experience also taught me to look at the bigger picture – not just a child in a room but also their family background / support structure / how their family impacted on them and so on. I was aware even then that I had an interest in how the mind worked. My father was a GP who specialised in mental health until he retired recently and my mum was a midwife so there was a lot of medical influence at home.
I came to Milton Keynesin 1999 and again took a teaching position however my husband was going through a tough time with his business and asked that I take some time out to help him which I did. We both worked really hard but I was often aware that ‘something was missing.’ I did miss the teaching and the interaction, the connections, the challenges that teaching had given me previously and the fact that no day or any individual is the same. I missed the physical and mental preparation it takes to plan a lesson that will give each individual the best chance to succeed on that day. I often had one specific goal in mind for that day but provided many different routes to get to it because I knew individuals learn in different ways. Some of us are primarily visual ( we ‘ see’ things in our minds ), some are more inclined towards feel things ( kinaesthetic ), some hear things ( auditory ) or we process information through taste ( gustatory ) or our sense of smell ( olfactory ) usually a combination with one modality being dominant.
So my working days were not as exciting and rewarding as they had been. We moved out into the country – to Buckingham – in 2004 and the change was good for me. I felt more ‘at home’ in the countryside however there was still an itch I wanted to scratch, the business was very stressful indeed and more importantly I did not feel that I was using my skills at all. My friend ran a local magazine and I noticed an advert for a hypnotherapist who I decided to call one day for a chat. I have always been interested in hypnosis since volunteering at a medical demonstration at my dad’s Practice years ago when I was at school. I had a terrible phobia of needles and whilst I was experiencing hypnosis the practitioner lifted the skin up on the back of my hand and placed a needle straight through it. I remember at the time being completely aware of what he was doing and knowing that this would normally make me run very fast in the opposite direction, however today right here / right now I was fine about it. In fact I felt detached from what was going on as if I was watching it happening to myself with no concerns at all. The experience seemed to last for ages however I later found out that it had only been about 20mins in real time. I did not bleed at all and there was barely a mark on my skin – which was one of the things that hypnosis practitioner was trying to demonstrate to the GP’s present in the room. I became fascinated with hypnosis and then proceeded to try it out on my friends doing basic hand levitation without any problem at all. I had no reservations about hypnosis in fact it interested me greatly.
I called the hypnotherapist in the magazine and after 20mins initial chat booked an appointment to see him. And – as they say – the rest is history. He helped me to find where I was and to understand where I wanted to be very quickly indeed. My perspective on life changed immediately and for the better. He gave me back ‘ time ‘ which I felt was just racing by week after week. He helped me to appreciate today – right here / right now. That moments are precious and to be savoured – my days began to feel like weeks. I stopped racing. I was so fascinated with what he said and how he said it and with the entire therapeutic process – I felt I had finally found me. My authentic self. So I started reading ( and have not stopped reading ) as many books as I could on hypnosis and personal growth and therapy and became so completely absorbed in it that I studied and am now qualified as a Clinical Hypnotherapist and Psychotherapist with qualifications also in Neuro Linguistic Programming ( NLP ) and Cognitive Behavioural Therapy ( CBT ). I specifically enjoy working with pain control and related illnesses, smoking cessation, issues with alcohol, phobias, stress, confidence building and ego strengthening and weight. I also use my Art training ( Art therapy ) to work with clients even when they think they have no artistic skills themselves. Art therapy is often easier and more successful if you think you are ‘not good at’ art. The walled garden outside my office is a perfect environment for outdoor sessions however I am just as comfortable working indoors with clients in any kind of medium – any size or shape of paper, any utensils to suit you. For example some clients like scented felt pens, others crayons, some pen and ink, some pencil – anything that makes sense to them. You can actually ‘draw’ on your inner healing resources by doing drawings or pictures. Bernie Siegel’s work in the field of art therapy has shown the benefit of it for people with life-threatening diseases as well as having great value for people with a variety of personal problems.
I read constantly and am on a course at present that will eventually enable me to work in operating theatres with clients who perhaps do not want to use anaesthetic or accept administered pain relief, or cannot use anaesthetic for medical reasons or for procedures where the patient has to be conscious during the operation. It’s fascinating and truly illustrates the effectiveness of hypnosis and the power of the mind.
So, if you are interested in something I have written or anything on my website, when you are ready, give me a call and we can talk about what I may be able to do for you and how we can achieve it together.
I add here in acknowledgement of how wonderful he is and how supportive he has been and continues to be that the hypnotherapist I went to see and still spend time with is John Glanvill. You can visit his website at www.johnglanvill.com and he also is based in Buckingham. John is an Anxiety specialist however his skills are wide ranging and comprehensive. If you speak to him, please say ‘ hello ’ from me.
The Importance of Therapeutic Alliance.
I believe the effectiveness of any treatment programme depends very much on the quality of the therapeutic alliance between me and you, the client. The Oxford English Dictionary definition of Therapeutic states ‘ relating to the healing of disease/ having good effect on the body and mind ‘ with Alliance being ‘ the state of being allied or associated / a relationship or connection.’
For me, therapy involves a reciprocal role relationship. Two people – or it may be one person and a group of people – have a set of expectations about eachother. The therapist is expected to undertake a series of actions, including ( though not necessarily all of these ) the taking of history of the client’s problem, an examination of the problem, a diagnosis, some statement about the prognosis, the treatment itself and the monitoring and evaluation of the treatment. And even when ultimately the change process itself is the responsibility of the client ( they have to truly desire it and often work hard to achieve it ), the solution to the problem is always in some way in the hands of the therapist.
For example, Change is a process of becoming whole, even though a cure ( in some cases ) may not be possible. In nature, we are born, we grow, we mature, and we die, just as the seasons unfold in a year. If illness perhaps is accepted as a change in the rhythm of life that can hold out new learning and new challenges, then we can learn from illness as a teacher. Hypnosis and meditation help us to slow down enough to savour the experiences of life.
I consider one of the characteristics of the therapeutic alliance to be the balance and understanding between client and therapist with both parties working together. Healing is a much broader term or expectation than ‘ curing ’ since we may not be able to ‘ cure the cancer ‘ but we can work together on ‘healing’ a response to it. I will do my best to listen to and hear what you are saying to me and will use proven language skills and techniques such as Neuro linguistic programming ( NLP ) and cognitive behavioural therapy ( CBT ) to really make sure that both you and I understand where you are now and where you want to be / to get to – your desired outcome.
Client : she never listens to me
Therapist : what never ?? / what would happen if she did ? - NLP Meta Model
We will work together to decipher meaning and only then can we truly decide together how we will get you from where you now to where you want to be – together – and how you will remain there and continue to grow.
Before any change work can truly begin and a desired outcome be established I ( we ) will do everything possible to understand where you think you are ( how have you arrived there / what has happened / what is happening etc ) and where you want to be. The meaning of communication is the response it gets : in other words we will listen to and we will think about and consider everything that is said together. Some treatment programmes will be very short and others will take longer – each person and each problem is different – however all therapy requires work and there is no such thing as an easy fix if you want lasting change. It is also important that you feel confident to share any information or points of view freely – there are no right and wrong answers. This is a team effort between a qualified professional and an individual who hopes that that professional can assist them towards a desired change.
I will always treat you with respect and will do my best to make sure you have the most effective treatment programme that I can provide for you. I have a few associate professionals who I am happy to work with and recommend and as such if I consider their specific skill would be more beneficial to your treatment programme and ( if you are happy to ) we can include them.
I will have your best interests to the forefront at all times. I am a member of the NCH and the GHR both of whom in their code of ethics and practice state that I must keep myself up to date with rules and regulations and also techniques and processes and procedures. I will plan your session carefully paying attention to what you have told me and specific information you have shared with me. I will also utilise your own unique strategies and time lines and talk to you in a way your mind will connect with – your unique modalities ( Visual – seeing / Auditory – hearing / Kinaesthetic – touch / Gustatory – taste / Olfactory – smell ) and paying close attention to how you communicate verbally and non-verbally. This attention to detail makes your treatment programme specific and unique to you and therefore greatly potentates achievement of your desired change / outcome.
With your permission ( I assure you of complete confidentiality at all times ) I would normally take notes when necessary and sometimes will ask to record the session so that I am able to listen to certain conversations after you have left my office for the benefit of your next session. You are also free to record our sessions for your own purposes. However this would only be carried out with your consent and with strict observance of confidentiality and data protection law.
By taking notes and listening to what you specifically say and how you say it we can work together on a treatment programme that is unique to you and use therapeutic ‘tools’ to support and structure that programme. In the same way that you would expect a Doctor to use a stethoscope or a joiner to use a measuring tape, there are many therapeutic tools that are available to us. Therapy is an active process in which we assess together where you have been, where you think you are, where you want to be and what ( and how ) is the best way to get you there. We do more than just ‘talk’ – whilst enjoying another persons presence, exchanging small talk, or communicating at an abstract level all provide a good basis for communicating, it does not necessarily constitute effective communication, through which we can fulfil an outcome. One of the aims of a good treatment programme has to be to have effective communication between therapist and client through which outcomes can be fulfilled.
My intention is always to work within your own comfort zones. You will never have to do anything you do not want to do or say anything that you do not want to say however for real change to occur it will be useful for you to ask and answer questions, break down meaning and think of your own responses in a way that is uniquely relevant to you. Remember, there are no right and wrong answers here. My aim is to help you to help yourself. You will more than likely do a considerable amount of the change work and reach your own personal conclusions by yourself although I will be guiding you and supporting you all the way. My intention is to ‘empower you to help yourself – each of us owns a customised, almost godlike goal-achieving resource, cleverly wrapped up in a three pound lump of grey matter’ – NLP Alder and Heather 2006
Although many of us think of ourselves as thinking creatures that feel, biologically we are feeling creatures that think. If a characteristic of the therapeutic alliance can be to help the client pause and think, then the knee jerk ‘ flight or fight ‘ type responses to some situations can be delayed, postponed and broken down. We are no longer cave men running from predators and as such our instinctive flight or flight response ( whilst helpful and necessary in some emergency instances ) is more often activated for non-emergency situations causing some very unhelpful symptoms like dizziness, pounding heart rate, headaches, shortness of breath, stomach problems, panic attacks and cravings and so on. The word ‘responsibility’ perhaps should be written ‘ response – ability.’ How much more helpful and healthy would it be if in most instances we could simply pause and think about a situation before reacting. I will show you a range of strategies and systems that will enable you to do this, if you so wish. ‘ The deeper one’s understanding of the numerous components that are a part of each and every symptom, the greater the respect one can have for the overall integrity of the finely balanced system called the client .’ ( Yapko Trancework 1990).
I use NLP as a framework to ensure structure in your treatment. The use of NLP and other approaches helps set out using respected and proven methods where your therapy is starting from, where it is heading, what the desired outcomes are, and how they will be achieved measuring therapy in terms of short term, medium term and long terms goals or chunks.
For example, NLP presents SMART ( Specific Measurable Achievable Realistic Timely ) as a way of breaking goals down and further contributes the 6 elements for effective goal setting.
- state your goal positively
- put your goal in context
- express your goal in specific sensory terms
- choose a goal you can fulfil yourself
- evaluate honestly the effects of achieving your goal and
- choose a worthwhile goal.
‘what most occupies your mind, whether intentionally or unintentionally, tends to turn into behaviour and reality.’
Whatever format your therapy takes whether using NLP / CBT/ RCT ( Rapid Cognitive Therapy ) it is essential that the treatment programme and the ( at least ) two people involved give it structure and therefore an element of accountability.
It is important to show and measure change, even if the change is minimal. Careful structuring and accountability will set clear goals however large or small, and achieving any or part of them will be consciously noted. If we do not ascertain exactly where you ‘ are’ and where you want to ‘be’ then neither I nor you will know when you have got ‘ there.’ Defining full answers will give a much needed sense of direction and put you on the road to recovery even before any treatment work has started. I will be happy to hear and will encourage your feedback and comments – remember again, this is really important, there are no right and wrong answers.
I may encourage you to keep a daily journal of your thoughts or anything that you may consider relevant ( or not ) to the treatment programme which could include magazine articles, newspaper clippings etc that you can bring with you to each session to share. This will serve to give me a deeper insight into what is going on your mind, how change may be occurring and also what problems may have arisen since our last session. Reviewing the journal after the first week and then going back over it after a month if appropriate may help to show both of us how far you have come in your therapy and how indeed you have helped yourself outside of the therapy sessions. Thus empowering you to ‘fix’ yourself.
In the same way I may give you tasks do between sessions. For example, a fellow therapist and a great friend suggested to a client ‘ every time you think about how nervous you are when talking to a woman you would like to take to dinner, juggle with three balls.’ The client enjoyed the challenge immensely and said he began to truly think twice about feeling nervous about talking to women and actually being able to juggle was quite a fun and sociable skill …..which attracted women !
I believe journal writing, a blog, task setting and so on have every opportunity to bring depth and an new dimension to the therapeutic alliance with the added advantage of taking your therapy session into your real world outside of my office – ‘live’ the therapy.
My philosophy is based on empathy not sympathy. The understanding and sharing of issues / feelings etc with you, the client, in a non-judgemental professional and respectful way as opposed to expressing pity and sorrow for any misfortune. A tutor on a course I attended recently stated : ‘ I will help them out of the ditch rather than getting in there with them’ ( David Holmes Training Alliance Group 2011 ).’
Another very important aspect of your treatment programme – and this has to be present right from the very start, from day one – is desire : desire by you the client to achieve an outcome and desire by me therapist to assist you. It is important that whilst you may know that you want relief from your presenting condition/ problem / issue, you also have to accept and be ready for the change that is necessary.
‘ We have resources available within us to create not just a willingness for change to take place, but a genuine desire for it to do so ’ – Philips and Watts Rapid Cognitive Therapy 2007. An individual may very well decide he ‘ can do that – but it does not mean that he is agreeing that he will .’
You have to ask yourself if you are truly ready to make the positive changes necessary in your life and to listen to your responses carefully – if someone else has asked you to call me, is it really your decision ? Do you really want this change for yourself ? If it for someone else then maybe you would not be making the changes for yourself but rather to pacify others which would more than likely have an effect on the chances of a successful outcome. For real change work to occur I know you must desire it for yourself – if you are reading this and have been asked by a third party to make a change we can talk about it and perhaps make the decision yours before starting a treatment programme.
Finally, our therapeutic alliance has to be based on working towards mutual trust since trust can go a long way to addressing fear which can be debilitating. Be assured that everything we say together, that we share and any communications of any type are kept completely confidential. I am a member of the National Council For Hypnotherapy ( NCH ) and the General Hypnotherapy Register (GHR ) which both have strict codes of conduct and ethics by which I abide.
Please be assured that I thoroughly enjoy the work that I do and take it very seriously indeed. I personally adopt an Ericksonian style in that I take as many notes as possible and ( where clients are happy ) I record sessions so that I can go back through the session in detail, often transcribing it word for word. For me this is the very best way of working – it means that I do not miss anything out. I then work from my notes reducing them down and down until I have a very specific and individual plan for your next therapy session. I will share with you the direction which I feel professionally will be most effective for you and make sure that you are happy ( and understand it ) to proceed at all times. You never have to do anything you do not want to do, however you must ‘do’ something.
This is an active not passive process.
So, when you are ready – when you truly desire it – give me a call and we can discuss taking you from where you are today to where you want to be. Fiona : 07968 106113
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